January 9, 2012

New Year -- New You


It has been way too long for me and once I again I find myself apologizing for not keeping you abreast of all of the exciting things happening in my life.  So much has been happening, I can't keep up. Work has been good -- challenging at times, but good.  I can say that I have happened upon new-found confidence in speaking up for myself and in confronting people about things with which I disagree.

Home has been more of a challenge with my daughter in college, my son in Pre-K, my mother being somewhat ill and my husband going through growing pains with his job.  I know things have a way a working themselves out, so a lot of the challenges I was feeling I just had to ride out.  Some things I was able to work through myself, some things I had to wait for Divine Wisdom to show me a path.  One thing I always seem to forget is that I can release things to my higher power.

So with my new found confidence also comes criticism from those closest to me that, of course, I "have change since the surgery".  I am over one year post WLS.  I have dropped over 100 lbs and have become a whole new me.  How could you expect me to be the same person, literally?  I have not changed my attitude per se, I have indeed changed what I will tolerate and what I will not.  This became very evident to me when I finally realized the manipulation tactics of others who used to have some influence on my life and my persona.  I started recognizing the divisiveness of these people and confronted the tactics head on.  I told that person, I was no longer going to give into their manipulation, and seeing they could no longer control me, they said, "she has become such a terrible person since her surgery.  She's just changed too much!"

Much of the latter part of 2011,  I spent contemplating what the new year would bring to me.  The only thing that kept resonating within me was deciding what I was going to tolerate from people and what I was not.  I decided that my newly found self was no longer a doormat, so in that respect, yes, I have changed.  I don't think I understand how people don't think you will change when you go through a life-altering event.  Mind you, it is always those people closest to you who see the change in you.  However, I believe that you cannot see change within someone else unless you recognize that trait within yourself.  Not really profound, but if you think about it, it's the truth.  How can you point out someone's flaws if you don't see them in yourself?  I cannot believe someone to be selfish unless that trait in within me, at some level either consciously or subconsciously.  So yes, I have changed, but that is only because you recognize that the piece of me you tried to manipulate is no longer responsive to your tactics.

Well, I don't want to begin a rant, but remember there will always haters on any journey you may take.  You as a WLSer must be ready physically and mentally to do combat with the negative that accompanies the positive.  Keep the haters at bay and no longer allow the manipulation.

Smooches and best wishes!,

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