August 30, 2011

Wanting to Nosh


When my buttons are pushed, I know what comes next -- my desire to eat some sweet and then something "carby".  Right now, I feel like I have been pushed beyond my limits by my "Little Prince", and I want something sweet so badly, I can just picture the hot fudge oozing down the vanilla ice cream on that sundae!  Wow, talk about triggers!

Triggers are those things in our day-to-day experience that cause us to do the things we do -- overeat, in my case, gamble, drink, smoke, or do drugs.  These triggers can be just about anything that sets us off and sends us over the edge.  One of my biggest triggers is guilt.  Guilt is just maddening.  It makes you give into things that you say you would never do.  It allows people to have control over you.  You become the slave and someone or something else is the master.

How do we recognize our triggers?  The first step is to realize when your "buttons" have been pushed.  It could be a comment made about you or something you did.  It could be a disapproving look from a parent.  A trigger could be a wailing kid who won't fall asleep when you, and they, know how tired they are.  A trigger is that "thing" that makes you reach for whatever your addiction is.  For example, tonight's trigger was the wailing kid.

I can tell when my son is tired when he starts to act like he is wired.  He begins to act out, simply put.  But instead of giving in to the sleeping routine that we have in place, Little Prince bucks the establishment.  Some parts of me want to say, "hooray", for going against the rules, but I realize that every person needs a little structure.  Anyway, he begins the whining, and the crying, and build all of this into a crescendo ending in a snotty asthma attack.  I tell you, I don't know how you ladies with multiple small children do it day in and day out.

So my trigger with my son is that I feel guilty that he has to sleep alone and that he is crying.  The continuous crying just makes me angry, though, and then I begin to feel the urge for the sweets.  I recognize this and then I am capable of controlling this feeling and do something about it in a positive manner.  That is in essence what it is all about -- taking that feeling and re-channeling it.  If you know what bugs you, you take yourself out of the situation.  You change the paradigm and allow yourself to feel something different.

Instead of my hot fudge sundae, as I write this blog entry, I am eating something, but it is a handful of carrot sticks.  Sweet and crunchy, but they don't give me the additional guilt of eating something decadent just to satiate a negative response.  I hope that we can all learn something from my experience.  Being able to recognize the triggers is a big part of being successful post weight loss surgery.  You can lose the weight, but if you don't recognize and deal with your demons, you can easily gain it back.

Post your responses below and thanks for reading!

Smooches!